Power of Choice in Christ
Betty has had more than her fair share of heartache. Her mom died when she was only five leaving her with a father who was cold and indifferent. She later married and had three kids, but her husband struggled with alcohol and left her to raise three young children. When her kids were grown, she moved across the country to start life where she met the love of her life. A pilot, he tragically died in a plane crash in the line of duty as an aerial firefighter. Grieving his loss, she decided to move back home to be close to two of her three children. Sadly, they both died way too young, essentially leaving her alone again.
Life can come at us hard. Sometimes we dig our own potholes and sometimes there are gaping holes in the road that seem to come out of nowhere. Unfortunately, God does not give us the script for our lives in advance. Our grief can be overwhelming. I have a friend that lost a parent young, and he has never really forgiven God for it. Dr. John Oswalt authored a book aptly titled Where are you, God? that deals with the struggles of pain, injustice, and suffering. His title sums up a question we all have at some point.
What strikes me about Betty is that in spite of the obvious challenges in her life, she has kept a joyous and peaceful spirit. She is not bitter. She does not blame. It doesn’t mean that she does not mourn her losses, but she is able to do so without letting it consume her. Despite now being in her late 80’s and outliving most of her oldest and dearest friends, she is “with it.” She took a computer class when computers first became popular and is an avid emailer. I would not be surprised if I found her on Twitter or Facebook one day!
We do have a choice. When the unpleasantness of life strikes, we are not victims of fate. We get to decide. I am of reminded of the old saying “what does not kill me will make me stronger.” Despite some claims to the contrary, God does not promise us a pain free life. In fact, it is quite the opposite. When I re-read the hardships of the apostles or consider the plight of many of the martyrs, I’m reminded of this truth. However, we are promised the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, to be with us and comfort us. We are promised an eternal homecoming. That is comforting. I frequently have to remind myself that I do have of the power of choice. When life happens to me, I get to choose whether I have a negative or positive response. Do I respond in fear, stress, and anxiety or do I lean into Christ for peace, love, and forgiveness.
Betty leaned on Christ. She also leaned on her brothers and sisters in Christ. She surrounded herself with “balcony” people and not “basement” people. She exercised her power of choice to push ahead and not quit on life. Because of that, she serves as an inspiration to others, including me. Since Betty is my paternal grandmother, I have had a front row seat to watch her deal with many of the losses and setbacks. We all have different suffering that we must endure. Beneath the shiny veneer of each of our polished lives is probably some kind of deep suffering or pain as well. It’s helpful to remember the power of choice that we all have and the peace and ultimate security that comes from a life truly surrendered to Christ.
Martin E. Willoughby Jr. is an attorney/business consultant with Willoughby Law Group, PLLC located in Ridgeland. He and his wife Nicki have two children, Ally and Trey, and live in Madison.
