Savor the Moment
As summer ends we turn the page and look to the next chapter, the next season. We have a tendency to rush through life and forget the beauty of each moment. Do you remember wishing for warmer weather in January when it was so cold? Now we want it cooler because it is so hot. As human beings we are never satisfied and never take time savor the present moments.
If you look at the definition of savor, you will find that it means “ to relish, to delight in, to enjoy.” Reflect on those words for a moment. What did you enjoy about this summer? What new memories did you make? What challenges did you overcome? You see, even the challenges, the hurdles, the bumps in the road, can be moments to savor because you learned something new or overcame something.
Did your children learn how to ride a bike? Did they overcome the fear of going swimming? Were they able to spend the night with a friend without calling you? Did they acquire a new skill while attending camp?
Now it’s our turn as adults. The children are back in school. So now what do you want to do, learn and enjoy? Savor these times and realize that, “Yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks.” Today is the time to do that one thing you always wanted try. Maybe it’s just taking a day off and do nothing and enjoy the silence. It might be learning how to play golf, tennis, ballroom dance. It could be taking a course at a local college, getting together with old friends, or making a new one taking a treat to the new neighbor, or writing your college child an E-mail every week.
Each of us is given a gift of 24 hours each day. What we do with it is up to us. Yes, we have employers that have part of it, and our body demands that we get some rest. Yes, there are the routines of carpool, meetings, and church. But there are plenty of hours or maybe minutes that you can savor the birds singing, the beauty of a sunset, the joy of a child’s laughter or the exertion of exercise.
Today is your next chapter. The fall offers new challenges and new opportunities. Take some time at the first of the month to make a purpose in your heart to do something that by the end of the month that you will look back on and say to yourself, “I did it!” I savored a moment, I enjoyed my spouse, I laughed with my children, I did something for someone less fortunate. Celebrate the moments and smile as you savor that new delectable morsel? in time that may never come again, and take in the next one.
The Super Woman Syndrome- Trying To Do It All
What do you think of when you hear the term "Super Women"?
She as it all together.
She balances work, motherhood, running a home, being a good wife.
She fulfills her potential.
She's happy doing it all.
I think of a juggler with a lot of balls in the air, or with spinning plates teetering on the brink of a great crash. Does this sound familiar? It definitely sounds familiar to me! I have felt this pressure many times as I look around and wonder if I'm measuring up.
The "super woman" has a desire to fulfill all the responsibilities and enjoy all the pleasures of various hats she wears such as individual, wife, mother, daughter, career woman, and homemaker. It is thinking that if she just keeps trying she will get it right. In our society, women are expected to have a professional job AND expected to be great mothers, attentive spouses, family coordinators, meal planners, and not just do it well, but live up to the unrealistic expectations set forth by our media and society. The idea of the "super woman" is a myth. It is a fantasy and is tabloid fiction. No one can be perfect and attain or sustain what it takes to be the "super woman." However, we think that every other woman is getting it right and is calmly and competently pulling off the balancing act.
I don't think any of us start out thinking we want to be a super woman. We just want to do what needs to be done and do it the very best we can. Most women put a lot of effort into their work, their relationships, and their children because they care. But somewhere along the way something happens and the Super Women Syndrome kicks in and we become a woman who is driven to do more, do better, and try harder. Women are feeling the pressure from the expectations of others. Not only is the media telling us what we should be doing but our circle of friends are also telling us what and how we should be doing things. The pursuit of the "super women" is an endless search that will be of great cost to you in the end.
There are many consequences that come along with trying to achieve the perfection that is the "super women." Some of these problems that come are chronic stress, health problems, fatigue/burnout, emotional problems such as anxiety and depression, and relational problems like anger and resentment, disappointment, and a critical spirit. Trying to be the super woman can and will be destructive to you and the people close to you.
In trying to escape the Super Woman Syndrome I would invite you to look inside. What is driving you to do all this? Do you hear your mother's voice? Are you trying to keep up? Is your pride at stake? Are you trying to prove your worth as a person or a woman? Are you doing it because everyone else is doing it? When you can discover what is driving you then you can begin to do the work and make the changes necessary to experience freedom and joy again in your life.
The good news is that you don't have to be perfect! Knowing that you are uniquely created by God and completely accepted and pleasing to Him gives us a security and significance that sets us free from the need to be perfect or to prove ourselves. A tremendous sigh of relief can be felt because as a Believer, our significance, worth, and identity comes from God and not our society. Jesus has a message to the Super Woman. In Matthew 11:28-30 he shares, "Come to me all who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."
Susan Wolgamott, MAMFT has been married for 11years and has three children. She lives in the Brandon area and attends First Baptist Church, Jackson
